Place of Safety Quiz

We at the Painful Truth are well aware that the Great Tribulation has not yet arrived.  Well do we remember the uncertainty surrounding this event, as each of us wondered whether we might be counted worthy to escape the horrors soon to come.  With this in mind, Painful Truth is proud to present this questionnaire to help those still in the Church of God to determine their chances of escaping this soon-coming, world-consuming event.

To find out if you will qualify to go to the Place of Safety, please answer the following questions.

1. Are you a baptized member of the Church of God? Yes No
2. Are you an ordained minister in the Church of God? Yes No
3. Are you Married? Yes No
4. Is your spouse a church member? Yes No
5.(For men only)
      Do you attend Spokesman Club? Yes No
      Is your wife submissive? Yes No
      How many times a week do you masturbate?
6. How many hours a week do you pray?
7. How many hours a week do you study?
8. How many days a year do you fast?
9. How many hours a week do you serve the brethren?
10. What was your annual income last year?
11. How much First Tithe did you pay (don't lie -- we can check!)?
12. How much Second Tithe did you turn in at the end of the Feast?
13. How much did you give at the Holy Days last year?
14. How many times a week do you beat, er, paddle your children?
15. How many times last year did you volunteer for fundraisers to help the Work?
16. How many times did you visit the doctor last year?
17. Did you participate in any pagan holidays last year, or say
"Same to you" when someone wished you a Merry Christmas?
Yes No
18. Do you ever grumble about your local pastor or have
"roast minister" on the way home from church?
Yes No
19. Have you provided for the Church of God in your last will and testament? Yes No
20. Have you reduced your standard of living so you can give MORE
during this end-time gunlap?
Yes No