2012 Garbage

Wally Smith, media understudy to LCG's gerontocracy, has scribed some 2012 thoughts on his blog.

On the other hand, I read and digested more 2012-related garbage that I would ever want to do again. For instance, I’m not sure if it will make the DVD, but we created a clip in which we toss book after book onto a table, each one professing to contain 2012-related wisdom, knowledge and prophecy.

It seems Wally is a skeptic, on 2012 if nothing else. No mention here, let alone endorsement, of fellow LCG member and eminent scholar Bob Thiel (Th.D) and his recent book 2012 and the Secret Sect though. Could it be that Bob's magnum opus was one of those books Wally tossed onto the table? "Wisdom, knowledge and prophecy" are a Thiel specialty! Wally mentions that he spent time with a Mayan scholar ("a Ph.D. in Mesoamerican cultures who was a Maya expert") who was also, it seems, a closet devotee of British Israelism.

In other research, he had also come to his own conclusions about the identity of the ten “lost tribes” of Israel, which — though done without contact with our church — correlated incredibly very well with exactly what we teach of them and of the United States and Great Britain in the Living Church of God — but that is a tale for another day.

Of course Wally isn't about to identify this genius.

Wally is the LCG's expert on 2012, and has both written a feature article about it in the latest Tomorrow's World, and recorded a television program which will air when the 2012 movie is released just over a week from now. But wouldn't you have thought the TW editorial team would have been falling over themselves to get Bob Thiel to write this article, considering Bob not only holds the sole Th.D in the church, but has just written a full-length book on this subject?

Just as mysteriously, there is still no comment or clarification from Bob about the legitimacy of that very same Th.D which he recently added to his resume. As someone recently pointed out, Bob's sudden elevation to doctor of theology - assuming it was the real thing - would be a huge asset for the intellectually under-endowed sect. If however it's little more than a vanity degree that Bob picked up from a shonky operation in India, then Bob could well be the butt of an awful lot of humor at the Charlotte HQ.

Li'l Herbal Hombre

I love what this kid does... pure performance. Just watch the congregation react like Pavlovian puppies. And his profound knowledge of evolution is every bit as developed as Mario Seiglie's, don't you think? I hope the grown-up pastor gives the brat a cut of the day's offerings, he's clearly sung for his supper.




(Shamelessly snatched from Jim West's blog)

The WCG that was

If you haven't been across to the Shadows blog recently, make a point of checking out this posting; a belated guide for the prospective WCG member of the early seventies. Here's a brief sample:

YOUR MONEY.

• Ten percent of your money is to be sent to the Church in Pasadena. This is ten percent of your gross income. This is mandatory.
• Ten percent of your money is to be saved to go to the Church Festival, wherever we tell you you are to go. This is ten percent of your gross income. This is mandatory.
• Once every third year, a third ten percent of your money is to go to a fund for widows and orphans. However, it is ultimately up to us what we do with the money. Do not question the use of these funds. It is mandatory to give this money.
• You are required to give offerings above and beyond your tithe on Holy Days.
• You are not to ask, question, or otherwise have any concerns over what this money goes to. You are to give it. We do with it what we want.
• If you fail to follow the above directives, you will be either suspended or disfellowshipped from the organization, and we will tell you you will have likely lost your chance at eternal life and will end up in the third resurrection.
• You will survive on what money is left for yourself. If you find yourself in poverty due to giving 30% or greater of your income to us, after the government has already taken 20 to 30%, don’t ask us for help. We are always in a crisis and we need you to give more!

Of course, it all depended on exactly when you were recruited into Herbert's "crusade for sanity." The church's requirements morphed with every wind of change, and there were plenty of gales blowing in the seventies! It was possible (and often desirable) to be in blissful ignorance of the latest shift in teaching for months, especially if it didn't appear on the front page of the Worldwide News. For the not-so-zealous among the flock, the trick was to keep a very low profile.

If you don't end up screaming in rage, you'll get a good laugh.

Same old, same old...

The self proclaimed "bishop," Brian Tamaki, is in the news in my little corner of the multiverse. The New Zealand Herald, via columnist Garth George, is labeling the prophet of many hairstyles a cult leader. In a sudden rush of blood to a bodily appendage unused to such things - his head - Bishop Brian, founder and boss of Destiny Church, has had seven hundred male members, uh, yes that's the term the Herald uses, swear a loyalty oath to him. And, oh whoopee, they even get to wear loyalty rings!

...the church document says that proof of a man's covenant with God is how they "submit to God's chosen man ... We are blessed to our spiritual father through whom this principle is being restored."

God's chosen man? Deja vu: I think I'm going to be sick. I'm told some ex-WCG members now sit in Destiny services each week. Out of the frying pan...

Now, to be honest, I'm no fan of Garth George. He is a former editor of the loathsome Challenge Weekly, the fundamentalist tabloid. I have never yet read a column of his that I agree with, though that may partly be because I make a point of not reading his columns. Nevertheless, in this case, I was prepared to make an exception after a copy of this one was emailed to me by a former WCG member (thanks Seamus.) Tamaki reminds me of a tithe-sucking vampire, preying on the credulity of decent, everyday folk who are just trying to make sense of life.

So Garth George - and it pains me to say it - does have a point. And if someone doesn't slap Tamaki down, the very stones may cry out. One positive aspect of the Herald column is that George does have a degree of "cred" with the very people who are most vulnerable to Tamaki and his ilk. Hopefully this punch will have connected.

There is a real difference between the blather that comes from the fundagelical heartland, and the loon-call of someone like Tamaki, but the irony is that it's arguably people like Garth George who prepare the ground for movements like Destiny. Tamaki simply takes the same fundagelical agenda and drives it off in the direction it's already pointing - over a cliff. Garden-variety evangelicals, on the other hand, may picnic at the edge of the cliff and admire the scenery below, but usually have enough nous not to jump.

Just What do You Mean - Doing the Work?

This one is for you, Seamus!

(The year is 1978)

Brethren, if you'd all open your hymnals to page 103, we will sing the words of Psalm 137, "By the Waters of Babylon."

Seamus (sotto voce): "Which version?"

Egg White

Will Herbert Armstrong ever surpass the reputation of the woman whose footsteps he, at least partly, followed in?

Ellen G. White is often referred to as the founder of Seventh-day Adventism, and this report indicates that her influence endures some ninety four years after her death. The SDA movement may have a lower profile, but is actually larger than its brasher cousin, Mormonism.

SDAs have also impacted on the everyday lives of all of us living in the West, thanks to Corn Flakes, peanut butter and, may God forgive them, Young Earth Creationism.

Ronald Numbers, whose name comes up in the item linked above, is himself a former Adventist, and author not only of a leading biography of the prophetess, but The Creationists,a hugely enlightening history of creationism that should be compulsory reading for anyone who wants to express an opinion on that subject. Even cut down to size by twenty first century academics, the lady is formidable.

But what will be the legacy of Herbert Armstrong, whether for good or ill? His followers have built no hospitals nor given the world a breakfast cereal. Ninety four years out from his death, in 2080, will he be anything other than a minor footnote in an obscure volume on twentieth century sectarian figures?

TPM - COGism's very own UFO cult?

A new face emerged during Triumph's Feast of Tabernacles this year. Haile Keita led a series of "studies" on UFOs, Nephilim, Aliens and the Occult. Keita's speculations might seem completely loopy anywhere else, including in most of the COGs, but at TPM they're positively mainstream.

Putting aside the cogency or otherwise of Keita's material, he comes across as a personable and well-spoken guy, and in his opening comments he was duly deferential to TPM founder and end-times guru Willie Dankenbring. When Willie goes to his eternal reward, could Haile be the one to take on the reins at Triumph?

Certainly, if his five-part chat is anything to go by, he has as many off-the-wall theories to peddle as his master and mentor.

In Search of... Bob's Th.D

The mystery of Bob Thiel's Th.D may be solved, and it's a pretty strange tale.

Bob may have acquired a mail order degree from Trinity School of Apologetics & Theology in Kochi.

Kochi?

TRINITY??

Following up on an anonymous tip in the previous comments section, a web search revealed that Trinity is a fundamentalist institution in India which has a Calvinist orientation, and offers "Free Apologetics/Theology Graduate Distance Programs." It's listed in places like Conservapedia and Creationwiki, and is sited next to Cochin University, but from what I can tell is definitely not part of that institution (although to read the Trinity website you might assume it was!) T of CU would then mean Trinity of Cochin University, which seems to be a clear misrepresentation.

Here's what Walston's Guide to Christian Distance Learning has to say about this institution (see graphic).

Not exactly positive.

And lo and behold, there is a Bob Thiel listed under "graduation news" on the Trinity site.

Now let's recap.

(1) If this is the source of Bob's Th.D, one can only wonder at his choice of an institution which wears its trinitarianism on its sleeve.

(2) To all intents and purposes, the accreditation that this institution claims is highly dubious.

(3) Bob has misrepresented it by calling it TCU. The correct acronym is TGSAT. The impression that he has graduated from Texas Christian is highly misleading. The impression that TGSAT is part of Cochin University is also misleading.

It appears that Bob's Th.D - if this is its source - isn't worth the paper it's printed on. No wonder Bob has been less than forthcoming about its provenance: it's a huge embarrassment.

However, on the positive side, Bob was being at least partially truthful. He does have a piece of paper with a recently minted Th.D., the quality of which is fully commensurate with the quality of his scholarship.

A Case of Beams and Splinters?

Over at COGwriter, Bob Thiel is busy nuking some guy called James Malm. It's completely justified, as Malm has been slagging off Thiel. Never a dull moment in the sandpit.

What this clearly demonstrates is that Bob is quite capable of standing up for himself, and assuming a posture of peevish outrage. The current entry is entitled "James Malm Continues to Mislead."

Instead of repenting for being a false accuser of me, James Malm remains an accuser (cf. Revelation 12:10) as he continues to attempt to mislead people about me and my writings... The Apostle Paul faced false accusers as well who could not prove their false accusations (Acts 24:13).

Well, bully for Bob. But isn't it interesting that Bob has still failed to respond to questions about the legitimacy of a claimed Th.D from TCU. These claims are in his bio at Examiner.com, and on his own website. Hardly a good look to accuse someone else of misleading while being unable to provide the most rudimentary documentation for one's own claims. A case of beams and splinters?

The thing is, Bob gets a lot of traffic on his site, but where does it come from? Have a look at this breakdown from Alexa.com.

Sweet mystery of life, nearly 15% of Bob's click-through traffic comes from - gasp! - AW! No other source, search engines Google and Yahoo excluded, sends more visitors through for a dose of Bob's "Th.D" fueled Biblical expertise... Most of those would go directly to the COGwriter "news" page, while most of the search engine hits would go to one of the countless ratbag pages of opinion Bob has up on things like "Catholic prophecies," Mayan calendars, and whether Barack Obama is the Antichrist. If that's the case, most of Bob's upstream traffic would come from curious and confused nutcases outside the COG fold, which means the news blog - the part of Bob's site most of us are familiar with - has been hugely overrated in its influence.

Yes brethren, I'm very tempted to rain on Bob's parade by withdrawing all links to his site... after all he doesn't link here. But that would be boorish and small-minded, so I guess he can continue to hang out in the apologists' section of the side bar.

But there'll be no more direct links from blog entries until Bob explains that alleged Th.D.

Question: Exactly which institution issued the Th.D? Full name required, as the obvious candidate for "TCU" is Texas Christian University, and they don't seem to know anything about it.